Work
by e-dog
Summary: Olivia and Elliot’s partnership is put to the ultimate test.
1. Work

Disclaimer: Not mine

Author's Notes: Um, I don't really know. For once, I wanted Elliot and Olivia in a miserable situation that didn't involve rapists, serial killers, and/or on-the-job crisis. Something miserable, yet funny. So, taking the fact how often Cragen steps in to tell them to act like freakin' adults, I've decided to take that childish behavior to an extreme. OOC-ness is to be expected. I apologize ahead of time. Nearly everything in this story should be taken with a grain of salt. Just wanted a laugh.

Summary: Olivia and Elliot's partnership is put to the ultimate test. Post Web

Rating Mature: Coarse, Coarse Language (Liv and El will drop the f-bomb. A lot.); Mild Violence.

Category: Comedy, Angst, General

**Work**

by e-dog

**1**

**Work**

"I work here."

Oh, yes she did. She most definitely worked here. Somehow, the grungy maze of a shipping yard in Greenwich, Connecticut was her workplace and running after a skinny prick of a serial rapist named Adam Hunt was the work.

Right.

So normally, she wouldn't even _be_ in Connecticut, but a tip from up North reached the Manhattan Special Victims Unit around 3 that morning. A possible sighting of their perp near the shipping yard. After Cragen and Novak sidestepped some red tape, she and Elliot traversed up north to join the local authorities in the search. No sooner did they step foot on the grounds to talk to the owner, they took on enemy fire. Adam recognized them immediately from previous scrimmages, pulling a gun from under his vest.

The owner was shocked, to say the least, saying Adam had been working under him for nearly five years. Never had a problem until now!

Elliot told the owner to keep his staff at bay and let the police do their job. Once Adam had run out of bullets, he started to run.

So now that's what she was doing. She was running. It was only a week ago she was relishing in the fact that she could sit on her ass all day, every day. There was no more of this running business to attend to. It was just her and that gosh awful computer, in that gosh awful chair, drinking coffee that was worse than what Munch brewed in the morning.

_God_, how she missed this.

Gun drawn as she ran, she yelled, "Adam! Stop! There's no way out of here!"

Well, apparently there was. A hole in the fence that she and Elliot reached at near the same time, both of them cursing their misfortune. This hole led out into a wooded area that would require some serious physical endurance. It wasn't too dense and they could see Adam just up ahead, fighting through the branches and brush. She pushed herself through the hole first and Elliot followed. A few of the local cops they were assigned with also followed to back them up, but at the pace she and Elliot were racing, she highly doubted those two donut hogging coppers would be able to keep up with them.

After ten minutes of clawing and clomping through mud and mess, Elliot hissed, "Stop! Wait!"

She did exactly that, keeping her gun drawn and looking for Adam. They had just seen him here. Where did he go? Elliot shook his head, "He's gone, Olivia. He's gone."

"No. Not. . .not after all that fucking running," Olivia panted, turning around in a circle to gain her bearings and to continue her search. There were trees in every direction. Adam had given them the slip again.

Elliot had lowered his weapon now, leaned against a tree to catch his breath, "Damn it. He's a slick bastard. How many times has he outrun us on this case?"

"Three," Olivia grimaced. "Three fucking times."

"Such a potty mouth, Liv," Elliot joked. "Computer crimes made you that grumpy?"

"Shut up," Olivia ribbed back, trying to remain pissed off.

There was no arguing it now. Adam _was_ fast. They should have taken Munch's warnings to heart. He was the one that found out Adam ran long distance track in high school.

Olivia stared ahead, in the direction she thought Adam may have gone and knew he wouldn't get too far. His face was now plastered in every window, on every television and on any lamp post along the east coast. His name was traveling the airwaves of every police radio within 500 miles. No, Adam would not get far. No matter how fast he ran, he would not get far and he would pay for his crimes. It just sucked that she couldn't bring him in on her own. She holstered her gun, then looked at Elliot with a rare grin, "I outran you, though."

"No you didn't," Elliot chuckled, still heaving gulps of air. "You've been riding a desk for the past few weeks."

"And I still outran you," Olivia countered, still smiling. She took a deep breath, then suggested, "We should head back. . ."

It then hit her. Where was 'back'? Where were they? Where were those meathead, donut eating cops that were assigned to help? Her jaw dropped slightly as she took in the endless rows of trees again. She murmured, "Elliot. . ."

"What?" he replied, his breathing seemingly under control again. He stood next to her, taking in her stunned expression and he repeated worriedly, "What Olivia?"

"Where _are_ we?" she asked aloud.

He looked around. A few moments of silence passed between them as he muttered, "Shit."

Yeah, shit was right. And during their momentary lapse of berating themselves and cursing their bad luck, work struck again. Literally.

Elliot suffered a blow to the back of the head courtesy of Adam Hunt. Their perp was back with a large oak branch and a vengeance. Before Olivia could even think of reacting, she was struck too. The world went black and when she came to, it was moving. The world was moving very fast.

She rolled onto her side, feeling the jarring motion underneath her. She finally opened her eyes to a semi-dark room filled with boxes. Boxes that swayed with the motion of the car she supposed they were in. As she sat up, she began to wonder what the hell kind of vehicle she was riding in. It was massive, space for an entire room in her apartment, if not more.

To her right, she found her partner, sprawled on his back still dead to the world. She crawled over and whispered, "Elliot, wake up."

He groaned and she shook him gently until he opened his eyes. He mouthed the word 'wow' in response to the pounding headache she knew he had. She had one too. She helped him to sit up. He finally noticed they were moving too and he gave her a questioning look. She just shrugged, "I don't know."

It was then she noticed that Elliot was merely in his tank top, khaki pants and shoes. His vest, coat, shirt and tie were all gone. She glanced at herself and noticed she too had been stripped of her outer layer of clothing. Her leather jacket and the blouse she had been wearing were MIA. All she had left was a tank top, pants and shoes, just like her partner. She rubbed her temples out of pure frustration and said, "Um, Elliot. Notice something different about us?"

He looked down at himself and then at her. "What? Besides that huge bruise on your right cheek?"

Olivia touched the tender spot on her face, not even thinking of that. She sighed, "No, take a closer look."

After a very long second of pondering, he finally seemed to understand. His mouth was hanging open slightly, trying to say something that might explain where their clothes might be. He looked around the space, spied the boxes and frowned deeply. He shook his head and patted himself down, "My gun is gone."

"Mine too. So's my badge," Olivia confirmed. Adam must have taken anything that would label them as cops and then dumped them here. She checked her back pocket. "He took my wallet too. Good thing I cut up my credit cards last week."

"Speak for yourself," Elliot mumbled, the thought of their perp stacking up charges on his credit cards very mortifying indeed. Usually, he left his important belongings at his desk or at home. When he got the call that they found Adam, however, he never got the chance to sort out his things. Now Adam had his driver's license, credit cards, etc. He cursed, "Damn that kid! When we find him, I'll kill him."

"If he trashed my leather jacket. . .," Olivia growled, also adding her resentment. Three times this kid had outrun them in a chase. _Three_. However, this was the first time he physically fought back showing his desperation or frustration. Now they were here. . .wherever here was. She stood up, balancing her weight with the movement of the car. She stumbled over to the boxes, most of them labeled FRAGILE and THIS SIDE UP. She commented, "This all looks like freight. . ."

"Train," he said suddenly.

"What?"

"A train, Olivia," Elliot repeated, getting up as well. He was a bit wobbly, but he found his footing and leaned against the side. "We're on a train."

The box shaped car. The freight. The unsettling motion. It all made sense. They _were_ on a train. Just to confirm their notion, the train whistle sounded loudly outside, shocking their eardrums and their headaches.

She shook her head and asked the one question on both their minds, "If we're on a train, then where the hell are we going?"

To be continued. . .


	2. Walk

Disclaimer: Not mine

**Work**

by e-dog

**2**

**Walk**

Captain Don Cragen only gathered his closest confidants into his office. He didn't need an office panic on his hands. He wanted his squadroom to stay focused on their jobs and not the fate of their two missing detectives. Naturally, certain persons wanted nothing more than to traverse up north and help in the search.

"This isn't some typical missing persons case, Cap," Fin shook his head, disappointed. "This is Elliot and Olivia we're talking about here."

"I know, I know," Cragen nodded, leaning on his desk. "The local brass are doing everything they can. Searching, scouring."

"We should be up there helping," Munch insisted.

"C'mon, John. You know just as much as I that you're needed down here," Cragen said apologetically. "We will be notified immediately of any new developments."

"Until then, Adam Hunt is still out there, getting away with unspeakable crimes," Casey said, speaking for the first time in several minutes. She rested a reassuring hand on Munch's shoulder and told him, "We know Elliot and Olivia. We know they'll be doing everything they can to get back here and put Hunt behind bars."

"What's to say that little bastard even came back to New York?" Fin questioned aloud.

"For our sake, let's just hope he did," Munch said, sighing deeply. "He's our only link to Elliot and Olivia. We find him, we find them."

"Captain!" came a shout from the bullpen.

All parties rushed out of the office, another detective holding a struggling young man in his arms. "This kid just came in here with a package! Said it was about our missing detectives!"

"What's your name?" Munch asked urgently. The kid was reluctant, so he added, "You do have one of those, right?"

"Hank," the restrained youngster answered.

"What's in the box, Hank?" Fin barked at him.

"I told you, bro! I got paid to bring this in here! I don't know what it is!" the young man protested. "Lemme go!"

"Hand it over," Cragen said calmly. He took the box, noticing the weight and the lack of time taken to shut it. He set it on a desk and carefully lifted the top. He muttered, "Damn it."

Munch leaned over and peeked inside. Two guns, two badges and two wallets. He pulled one wallet out, opened it and confirmed, "This is Olivia's."

Casey took in a deep shuddering breath. "This can only mean they're alive somewhere, right? We can't assume. . ."

"We won't assume anything till we know more," Munch cut her off, tossing Olivia's wallet back into the box.

Cragen walked over to Hank. "You think you can describe the guy who gave you the box."

Hank shrugged. "I guess I can do that."

Cragen nodded. "Good. Take him over there and find the sketch guy. Oh, and Fin. . ."

Fin picked up the box and announced, "I'm on it, Cap. I'll take this over to CSU. Have them search for fingerprints on the rest of this stuff."

"I'll let the search team up there know we have their wallets," Munch offered, heading off to his desk.

Cragen watched as all around him, things seemed to be calming down. Heading back to his office, he rubbed his head and wondered to himself, what the hell happened to his two best detectives?

-----------------------

Olivia was sitting on one of the boxes labeled THIS SIDE UP, watching Elliot pace the car in frustration. Upon the realization that they were in fact on a train, he started the pacing. It was annoying the hell out of her.

He was also banging his fist against the side of the car occasionally, cussing whenever he punched too hard. Eventually he broke skin, but that didn't stop him from tearing up his fingers against the metal walls some more. A part of her feared he might actually break his hand if he kept that up. Another part of her really didn't care at all. When did that happen? There was a time when she cared for her partner 100, no matter what.

She rubbed her arms to warm them up. What she really wanted most was her leather jacket back. She was suddenly very cold. To break the silence she stated, "At least he didn't take our shoes."

"What?" Elliot growled, not really paying attention. At least now he had stopped pacing.

"Shoes. He didn't take our shoes," Olivia repeated, then half-smiled. "Whenever this train stops, we won't look entirely homeless."

"When it stops?" Elliot bellowed, his rage reaching its peak. She had been waiting on him to blow a gasket. Of course, it would be something _she_ said that would set him off. He hit the wall again and barked, "You mean, ifit stops!"

He grabbed a random box and threw it across the car and yelled, "Fuck that kid!"

"Elliot!" Olivia shouted back, jumping up off her seat. "Calm the fuck down!"

He turned around and in doing so, put them face to face. He was snarling down at her as she glared back up at him. He rose a fist in the air, clenched it tight like he was going to punch something. Or maybe punch her. Olivia challenged, "Go ahead, Elliot. Hit me."

For a brief second, she thought he might take her up on that offer, then he let all the tension fall from his body. His balled up fist dropped to his side as he stepped back and scrubbed his face with his other hand. He mumbled, "I still have some . . .anger management issues."

His lips formed a tight smile.

He was joking. He would never openly admit something like that with any amount of sincerity, so she knew he was joking. So she forced a laugh and said, "I've noticed."

He sat down on a box, eyeing the one he threw. It was destroyed, the contents inside were most definitely smashed. He looked at her, "So, what did they do to you over in computer crimes?"

"Hmm?" she looked at him, listening to the wind rush past them outside the train.

"You've said 'fuck' more times today then you have in the last eight years," he smiled.

"I'm not allowed to say 'fuck'?" she mused back, fighting the smile.

Elliot shrugged, "I'm just saying. You're usually the lady out of the two of us."

Now it was her turn to joke. "I've still got some pent up aggression that I haven't dealt with yet."

He laughed, "I've noticed."

They sat in silence for a while. It could've been minutes, hours or days since their trip had begun. They didn't know. Adam took their watches too. A rustling noise brought her attention back to Elliot. He was looking at the packages again. His expression was one of intrigue, then it quickly changed to shock. She grew concerned, "El? What's up?"

He looked at her and stalled, "Since I'm a detective, I decided to do a little detecting. . ."

"And?" she pushed.

"Liv, look at the address on the box you're sitting on," he instructed slowly.

She looked at him for a second longer, before doing as she was told. She got up, searched the box for its label, then proceeded to decipher the label. She froze mere seconds later. She looked at Elliot, trying to say something to him, but was finding it difficult to breathe, let alone talk.

Seeing that his partner was speechless, Elliot took the initiative to confirm their suspicions, "These packages are going to Canada. Which means. . ."

"_We're_ going to Canada!" she finished, her knees giving way under her. She collapsed to the floor as she heard a low rumbling chuckle emit from her partner. She looked at him incredulously, "You think this is _funny_?"

He smiled widely and stated happily, "No! I think laughing is the only way I'll keep from _killing _myself!"

On that note, he stood up, grabbed another box and smashed that into the wall.

-----------------------

They had made a deal.

Elliot wouldn't throw anything else to satisfy his rage and she would no longer use the word 'fuck' and/or its variations when yelling at him. It was the first sort of compromise they had made in quite a long time. It was also working. She hadn't cursed in a while and he had managed to reduce his fits of rage to silent brooding.

So once they had settled that, boredom set in. There was nothing to eat. Nothing to talk about. Nothing to even look at because the car they were in had no windows. Since they were no longer yelling at each other, they suddenly had nothing to do.

So they had decided sleeping was not only a good idea, but they only thing they could do to alleviate the boredom. They certainly weren't going anywhere for a while.

They huddled up next to each other for body warmth and leaned against some boxes. It wasn't the Hilton Hotel, but it was going to have to do. Elliot maybe slept for a few minutes. He wasn't sure. Olivia, on the other hand, was clearly exhausted. She was passed out, her head resting on his shoulder.

He did his best to look at her, without moving too much and disturbing her. It had been several months since he'd had a woman in his care. Not that Olivia needed to be cared for, no not at all. He just forgot what it felt like to have a warm body so close to him, perhaps. What it felt like to have a woman rely on him again. Kathy was doing great on her own, even though it pained him to admit that. Those "manly chores" he used to do around the house just didn't seem as insurmountable as they did before. Olivia did just fine without him too. She just missed her real job as an SVU detective more.

He sighed inwardly wondering when he became so damn useless to everyone important in his life.

He shut his eyes again, hoping to catch a few more minutes of rest. A sudden jerk startled him, unfortunately. He groaned, but paused because he could feel a change in speed. After a few more seconds of listening to the creaks and moans of the train, he realized they were slowing down! He smiled to himself, thanking God they were finally going to stop.

"Liv?" he shook her gently. She stirred but didn't wake. He tried again, "Olivia? Wake up. The train finally stopped."

The train stopped? She yawned, listening to him get up and walk away from her. She sleepily rose to her feet as well, extremely happy that her world was no longer moving or swaying. The floor beneath her was absolutely still. Oh sweet bliss! Now it was time to get her land legs back!

"Hey, Liv. Catch," Elliot told her.

She turned around and a coat landed in her arms. It was wool, dark brown. She looked at him and started to ask, "Where did you get. . .?" Then she spied a couple of boxes torn open. She shook her head and objected, "No. No way, Elliot. We are not stealing. . ."

"Liv, it's okay," he smiled. "We got lucky for a change!" He pulled out a piece of paper from the pile of clothes he had created and handed it to her. "It's a non-profit organization! These clothes are donations!"

"Dress Your Best," Olivia read on the invoice. After looking over some details, she concluded, "They help lower income individuals prepare for job interviews. People who may not have a suit in their closet."

"What do you think?" Elliot posed, tugging on a suit jacket. It was another wool jacket, only grey. "Now we won't freeze."

"This is still stealing."

Elliot shook his head at her and pointed out, "Technically, this is for charity...for needy people who need coats and right now, we need coats. When we get back to New York, we'll just send these back here, okay?"

Olivia reluctantly pulled her "new" coat on. It was at least one size too big, but it was going to have to do. She buttoned up and asked thoughtfully, "You really think we'll freeze?"

"Well, it's spring, right? I would guess it's only about 50 degrees outside," he reasoned, as he zipped up his coat. "The temperature will drop at night."

Satisfied with his selection, he went over to the side door they had discovered before taking their naps. He grabbed onto the handle and began to pull. He grunted before muttering, "This has got to be the way out of here."

The handle gave way and the door slid open. A chilly air swept in. They both squinted at the bright daylight and looked out. Olivia bit her bottom lip and just shook her head. She could sense Elliot's growing irritation as well. Thinking they had stopped in a train yard would've been too much to hope for. The most prominent feature was the mountain range in the distance.

Elliot leaned out to investigate, looking down the track for as far as he could see. The train was only a few cars long, but that was about all he could discern. He squinted hard, before determining he couldn't see much of anything else.

"Well?" Olivia asked, wondering what he had seen.

"I don't know. We're either stopped because of the engine or we're out of coal," he shrugged.

Olivia smirked, "Did you just say coal?"

"We can jump out here and walk, " Elliot suggested.

"Jump out and walk? That's a joke, right?" Olivia repeated, eyeing him like he was crazy. "C'mon, El. Walk to _where?_"

"Let me guess. You want to stay here," he sneered.

"Yeah, I think we should find whoever the hell is driving this train," Olivia said, not appreciating her partner's condescending tone.

Before they could argue on whether to walk or wait it out, someone shouted at them from outside. They both looked out and saw a young man. He appeared to be in his early twenties, a thin face and jet black hair glowering back up at them. He was also holding a shotgun.

Olivia's eyes widened as she held up her hands in defense and said, "Don't shoot!" Elliot's hands also went up in the air signaling he, too, was unarmed.

"Who are you and why are you on this train?" the young man said, trying his best to appear tough. His voice gave away his age, however. A slight squeak went in and out as he spoke, indicating that puberty was still in full effect. What was a young kid like him doing with a gun?

Elliot answered, eyeing the gun warily, "We're detectives from New York. We could really use your help in getting home."

"Americans, hmm?" he said, nodding his head, before smirking. "This always happens! Americans trying to sneak into our country!" He then turned his head, looking to his left and yelled, "Hey, Armand! I told you I heard some bumping in one of these cars! Americans!"

Another voice, someone they couldn't see yelled back, "What did you say, David?"

David then repeated, "I _said _we have some Americans on the train again!"

"Hey, man, you don't understand!" Elliot tried to reason with him. "We're not deserters! We're cops!"

David laughed, clearly amused, "Cops, you say? Now that's a new one. Usually, ya'll pose as celebrities."

"My name is Detective Elliot Stabler," Elliot said calmly, his hands still in the air. "This is my partner Detective Olivia Benson. We were attacked and dumped on your train. Trust us, we don't want to be here!"

"Now, could you please lower your gun?" Olivia requested gently. "We're not criminals. Let's talk this out."

David contemplated their rational pleas, then aimed his gun at them again. He shook his head no and said, "I don't think so. The last time I let some Americans go, they turned up later in Toronto trying to rob a bank! Now, I think the best way to settle this is to take you into town and sort out who you really are with the local authorities."

Suddenly, the train's whistle sounded, startling David and his trigger finger. The shotgun went off and both Elliot and Olivia ducked back behind the walls of the train.

Hearts racing, they were both panting and taking cover on either side of the open door. Elliot stared at Olivia with wild eyes and exclaimed, "He just _shot_ at us!"

"No shit, Elliot!" Olivia hissed back, her heart racing.

"Hey," Elliot looked at her, his tone very serious and hurt. "I thought we agreed no cursing at me."

Olivia gritted her teeth, before pointing out, "I didn't say, 'Fuck you, Elliot'. I said, 'No shit, Elliot'. If I had said, 'Fuck you, Elliot', it would've been accompanied with my fist in your jaw! C'mon, are we _really_ having this conversation right now?"

Elliot leaned back a little, a hint of a smile on his lips, "Yeah, we are. We agreed no cursing at me."

"_Fuck_ you, Elliot!" Olivia shouted out of spite, before the shotgun went off again. They both sunk lower to the floor and Olivia heard Elliot concede, "Okay, we can discuss this later!"

Suddenly, David leapt into the car, surprising them both. He stumbled a little bit, trying to gain his bearings. Little did David realize that jumping in was quite possibly the dumbest thing he could've done. Without much delay, both Olivia and Elliot bounded up and gang tackled David while he was still disoriented. Elliot pinned him to the ground, while Olivia went for the gun.

David shouted in a very high pitched, squealing voice, "Armand! Armand! Help me!"

"Would you shut-up!" Elliot yelled, struggling to hold David still. Olivia was pulling the shotgun away from him, as he continued to yell for help. She secured it from him and proceeded to hide it in the boxes while Elliot tried to subdue him. "Would you just listen for a second! We're not trying to hurt you! I just want to talk!"

David screamed this time, "ARMAND!!!!"

"Man! Shut-up!" Elliot ordered again, punching David in the face. Elliot rose his fist again, paused, then noticed that the young man had stopped moving. Elliot rolled his eyes and mumbled, "Shit!" He lightly slapped David's face and called out, "Hey? Hey, guy, wake up! Damn."

"For fuck's sake, Elliot!" Olivia groaned, scrambling back over. She rubbed her eyes then complained, "I leave you for two seconds to go hide the fucking gun and you knock him senseless?"

"He wouldn't shut the fuck up!"

"So you fucking hit him?"

"David? You alright?"

Elliot and Olivia stopped there ever constant bickering. Armand was coming back to check on David. This was another thing they would have to argue about later.

They both left David where he lie and took up positions on either side of the door again. Elliot motioned with his hands and eyes that they were to grab Armand on the way in. Olivia shook her head no. They were not going to unintentionally attack another Canadian citizen! Elliot clenched his teeth and repeated his hand motions insistently. Again, Olivia shook her head no, but the arrival of Armand cancelled out her argument. He climbed in, spotted them immediately and shouted, "What the hell is going on?"

Armand then saw David on the floor. He gasped, "David!"

Elliot jumped from his spot and grabbed Armand's shoulders. Much to his surprise, Armand was a big guy and was putting up a good fight. Elliot shouted for help, "Olivia!"

Olivia reluctantly grabbed the lapels of Armand's shirt and raised her fist. She visibly winced and said, "I'm really sorry about this."

Then she plugged Armand in the jaw. Armand fell down next to David, out cold. Olivia stood over them, shaking her head and rubbing her knuckles. Elliot walked up next to her and commented blandly, "Nice punch."

"Fuck you, Elliot," she growled. "Can we leave, now? Or do we have to wait on the rest of the train operators to find us and knock them out too?"

"I thought we talked about you saying the words 'Fuck' and 'Elliot' in the same sentence," Elliot pointed at her.

"And I thought we discussed controlling your seemingly uncontrollable punching reflexes!" Olivia argued back, then threw her hands up, "We can _not _have this conversation right now. We've got to go. _Now_."

"Go where? Didn't you just get on _my ass _for suggesting we _leave_ the train?" Elliot shot back, following her to the door. She ignored him, jumping out of the car and walking away. He rolled his eyes before jumping out after her. He called, "Olivia, wait up! C'mon, would you wait?"

She wasn't stopping and she wasn't talking to him.

"This is stupid, Olivia!" he shouted. Still no response.

He spun in a circle, with his arms extended out in complete disbelief at the situation he was in. He had lost his badge, his wallet. He had attacked two innocent people and "stolen" two coats. Now, to top off this wonderful cake of utter desolation, he had a female partner who was now pulling the 'silent woman' card on him!

As he raced to catch up to her, he emphasized his point, "We're in fucking Canada! Where the hell are we going to go???"

To be continued. . .


	3. Wander

Disclaimer: Not mine

Author's Note: To **Kelly of the midnight dawn**: haha. Yeah. I was just waiting for a request like that. ;)

**Work**

by e-dog

**3**

**Wander**

"We're in fucking Canada! Where the hell are we going to go???"

Olivia stopped, listening to Elliot's feet crunch the dry grass below them as he ran to catch up to her. He was right. She was just being stubborn, taking out her frustrations on him. The fact was, this perpetual bickering and cussing at one another was going to get them nowhere. They had to think rationally here. They had to _act _rationally. She turned around when he reached her and she said quietly, "I'm sorry, Elliot."

"It's okay," he said, then added, "I'm sorry too."

They both looked back at the train, knowing that both Armand and David were going to wake up with huge headaches and horrible memories of 'American deserters' attacking them. No, better yet, Armand and David would wake with horrible memories of 'hard nosed, trash talking New York deserters' attacking them.

It was only now it occurred to them what kind of nightmare they had created for themselves.

Elliot rubbed his eyes again. Olivia rested her hands on her hips, looking anywhere but at him.

They both pondered in deep silence their current misfortunes. Had all their years as SVU detectives taught them nothing? When did their anger begin to control their actions? Why did they annoy the hell out of each other so badly?

Elliot shook his head, his lips forming an uneasy smile. "That got a bit crazy, back there, huh?"

Olivia also smiled nervously. "Yeah. I don't know how that all. . .it got out of hand so fast."

"I know," Elliot agreed, breathing in deeply and running a hand through his short hair. "Damn it, I shouldn't have punched that guy. . ."

"No, you shouldn't have. I shouldn't have hit anyone either, but it happened, okay? We need to accept the fact that we're stuck in Canada," Olivia stated simply. "The more we dwell on our bad luck, the worse this will be."

"Agreed," Elliot nodded eagerly, willing to do anything to help rectify their situation. He looked over his shoulder, then back at her. "I say we pick a direction and follow the tracks. We'll have to reach civilization at some point."

She took a deep breath, "Look. Armand and David think we're deserters. Let them take us in."

Elliot frowned, "Excuse me?"

"Think about it, El!" she pushed. "We get arrested, we tell them who we are, they confirm it and then Novak sends us plane tickets back to Manhattan!"

"Do you really think it'll be that easy?" Elliot asked, his tone bordering between curiosity and out right sarcasm. He shook his head, "They'll take us in, call us liars because we have no identification or police badges to confirm our story, then we'll be holed up in a jail cell for weeks."

"At least a jail cell has a roof, free meals and a phone to call home," Olivia pointed out calmly. "We will still have civil rights, just like any other criminal."

"We're not criminals!" Elliot seethed, but took a step back and said immediately, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry. You make a good point. A jail cell does sound a bit more appealing then walking out here all night."

"Thank you," Olivia sighed in relief. Then she froze, as she spotted trouble just behind Elliot. She mumbled, "Uh? Elliot?"

He looked at her askance, "What now?"

"You sons of bitches!" Armand yelled from inside the train, his lower lip puffing up thanks to the blow Olivia delivered to his face. He had found the shotgun and he was aiming it at them. "I'll kill you! Try and take over my train, stealing those coats from poor souls who need them!"

He fired off a round.

"Olivia!" Elliot shouted, tackling her to ground, missing death-by-shotgun by mere centimeters. They were tangled up in each other, as another shot went off. Scrambling, they found some taller grass in which to hide behind. Elliot griped, "You couldn't hide the fucking gun any better, could you? Just leave it out in plain sight for that psycho to find!"

"Oh, this coming from the guy who uses his fist to solve all his problems!" Olivia retorted. "Could I also point out that 'psycho' might not be shooting at us had we not attacked him!"

They rolled away, just missing being hit by another shot. Olivia was stunned, "I can't believe he's trying to kill us!"

"Well, besides sports, our countries don't really have that much in common!" Elliot pointed out, as another shot went off. They both ducked down and covered their heads. He looked back up again and said, "We have to got to move!"

"You don't have to tell me twice!" she said, grabbing on his arm and pulling him away from the train. They got down on all fours, crawling away as fast as they could. Another round of pellets missed them by a few feet. Olivia looked at him and yelled, "We have to run for it!"

Elliot nodded his agreement.

They jumped up and ran as fast as their legs would allow. Shot after shot went off and they hopped from left to right trying to avoid being hit. Olivia was a few paces ahead of Elliot, smiling to herself for just a moment. She was outrunning him again! Then she caught sight of the terrain up ahead noticing it was about to take a serious dip in elevation. They couldn't travel down that steep hill at this speed!

So she slowed down and went to warn Elliot, but as she turned around, she realized that her partner was approaching her too quickly. She shouted, "Elliot! Wait!"

It was too late. Elliot Stabler was a locomotive barreling at her at top speed. By the time he realized that she had stopped, he opted to just wrap his arms around her, hoping that she would slow his momentum.

Well, that momentum sent them both for a tumble down the hill.

Olivia's scream pierced Elliot's eardrums as they hit the slope of the hill and began to topple down, head over heels, rolling and rolling and rolling with no end in sight. The sounds of the shotgun were muted by the grunts of both detectives hitting rough dirt, rocks and branches. Then suddenly, Olivia couldn't feel any ground beneath her at all. As the shouts of her partner rang true in her ear, she finally realized that they were both airborne!

As if in slow motion, her body twisted until the ground came into view again. Her hands shot out trying to grab something, anything to break her fall, but it was no use. She slammed into the rocky terrain once more, heard a snap in her arm and finally came to a stop up against a tree.

Minutes or hours passed before she came to, lifting her head up out of the dirt and spitting out particles of dust from her mouth. Judging by the daylight, she hadn't been out long, which meant Armand could still be close. She went to get up, but yelped in pain instead. Her arm. Something was wrong with her arm. She called out, "Elliot? Where are you?"

No answer. She panicked, and said louder, "Elliot??"

"Olivia?" Elliot croaked. She looked ahead and saw him on his back, twisting and groaning as he tried to sit up. He collapsed back to the ground and muttered, "Why didn't you tell me about the hill?"

She let her head hit the ground again and muttered back, "I tried."

-----------------------

"Ah, ah," Olivia cringed, as Elliot inspected her arm. They were still at the bottom of the hill inspecting each others injuries. He had a cut on his forehead, a bruise under his ribs and a few scrapes. She also had her share of scrapes and burns and what appeared to be a broken arm.

After several minutes had passed, they determined that Armand was not coming after them. The sad reality was, _no one_ was coming after them. For the first time since this entire debacle had begun, Olivia wondered about Casey and Munch and Fin and Cragen. Surely, they were trying to locate them, right?

Olivia sighed, "They have no idea where we are."

"_We_ have no idea where we are," Elliot added jokingly, before assessing, "I don't think it's broken."

"It sure feels like it is," Olivia grimaced, holding her injured arm with her other.

"Flex your fingers again," he instructed.

She did, but this time, the task wasn't as painful as the first try. Maybe Elliot's assessment was correct. Maybe it was just a sprain. It still hurt like hell. "I think I'll be okay."

"Good. We should head back up. Find the tracks again," Elliot said, rising from the ground. "It's our only land marker. Our only trail to follow."

"Yeah," she said, holding up her good hand for Elliot to grab onto. He grasped her hand and pulled her to her feet gently. She winced, her injured arm searing in pain.

"You alright?" he asked, scrunching up his forehead and squinting his eyes at her. It was almost like he was trying to channel the pain; trying to understand what it must feel like. Maybe he was trying to think of a way to take the pain away, but there was simply nothing he could do but care. The fact that he was showing genuine concern warmed her heart more than he could know.

She smiled, "I'm good. Let's go."

So they began their climb. The first several minutes weren't too bad, the path they had chosen on level ground. Soon, however, the slope steepened. They were literally clawing their way up. Olivia paused, leaning against the soft dirt and grass. While Elliot had both hands helping to pull him up, she only had the one. It hurt too much to use her other arm. Elliot noticed she had stopped climbing, "Need some help?"

"No, I'm fine," she insisted, finding a new foothold and pushing herself upward.

"I don't need you tumbling back down the hill, Liv," Elliot sighed. He waited patiently until she reached his level. He searched out her eyes, "You can make it?"

"I got it, Elliot," she said, this time more annoyed.

He let it go and started climbing again. Several minutes of silence passed again, before he got this bubbling urge to start laughing. He choked on it a few times, the chuckles coming out muffled and muted. Eventually, he couldn't hold it in any longer. He started giggling, an action he thought was only reserved for his children on Christmas morning. They used to giggle and squeal, finding their prized gifts waiting for them under the tree. That giggle had overtaken him now.

"Elliot?" Olivia called up to him, a few feet behind him.

"Yeah?" he answered, before starting up another laughing fit.

She couldn't help but smile, his rare, felicitous mood infectious. "Why are you laughing?"

"Because we're here," he explained simply, grunting as he found a stable rock to grasp onto and pulled himself up higher. "Because. . .of me."

"This wasn't all your fault, El," Olivia told him sincerely. "If anything, I goaded you. Tried to make you feel like shit."

"You didn't punch David," Elliot laughed again. His laugh had become sardonic, regretful. "My anger, my frustration caused that. Not you." He waited patiently for her to reach him. Once they were on the same level again, he said apologetically, "Now we're here desperately clawing our way to where? To the top of this damn hill in a foreign country?"

Olivia's lips formed a tight smile, as she looked up and pointed out, "A few more feet and we'll be there."

He followed her gaze. The slope was getting less severe and he could see the top of the hill was just within reach. They pushed themselves the last few yards and up over the top. They collapsed on level ground, their tired arms and legs grateful for the prolonged break from climbing. The sun was nearly set, the stars dotting the sky above them. Elliot gazed up, lying on his back and taking deep, relaxing breathes. He half-smiled, "Hey, Liv?"

"What?" she sighed, closing her eyes.

"If you forget the fact that we're utterly and completely lost, our bodies bruised and battered," he said wistfully. "This really is a beautiful place."

She laughed, before smacking him playfully in the shoulder.

A soft grunt ruined their momentary bliss. Elliot turned his head to the sound and gulped. He stuttered, "O. . Olivia. . ."

She turned her head to follow his gaze and also swallowed hard. Not more than twenty feet to their right was a large, snarling moose. The antlers were huge, towering over them like weapons of mass destruction. Just when they thought it couldn't get any worse.

She whispered, "Elliot. Don't. Move."

"Don't move?" he repeated through clenched teeth. "Are you serious?"

"I couldn't be anymore fucking serious, Elliot," she said, trying to remain as still as possible. "Don't you move an inch."

"Oh dear Lord," Elliot muttered, shutting his eyes for a moment, before opening them and seeing the moose dig its hooves into the dirt. They both remained on their backs, listening to the fluctuating tempers of a very territorial land mammal. Elliot saw the moose's head dip and heard it grunt again. That's when Elliot felt Olivia's hand intertwine with his and give it a squeeze. Resisting the urge to turn his head and face her, he asked, "Liv? You alright?"

"It's going to charge," she said quietly. "He'll trample us if we don't move."

"You just said. . ."

"I know what I said, Elliot. It's going to charge."

"How do you know?" Elliot said, his heart rate picking up.

"Just trust me, okay?" she said, almost pleadingly. "When I say so, we get up and we run. You got me? We run for our lives."

Elliot groaned inwardly and said begrudgingly, "Trust me when I say this is the only time I'll admit this, but you run faster than me. I won't make it, Liv."

Olivia squeezed his hand again, promising firmly, "You'll make it, Elliot." She then let go and said calmly, "On three, okay?"

Elliot clenched his fists and agreed, "Okay. On three."

"One," she started.

"Two," he said next.

"Three!" she ordered, hopping up quickly and desperately. Elliot followed her lead.

Their feet pounded the earth like they were chasing a rapist through lower Manhattan. Behind him, he could already hear the large animal stomping the ground in its effort to catch up to them. In that moment, he felt they were going to die. That moose could run. It could run very fast.

The clomping was getting closer and Elliot shouted, "It's gaining on us!"

Olivia picked up the pace and so did he. The next several moments became blurs of space and time. The temperature had dropped some so the cold air was stinging his face. His eyes were beginning to water. He couldn't see where the hell he was going! Then the miracle he had prayed for appeared. Olivia spotted it first, "The train! Elliot! It's the train!"

Bless that shotgun wielding, psycho Armand! He hadn't left yet! A few more yards and they could dive inside and escape the monster chasing them!

Then, Elliot tripped. He hit the ground and rolled. When he came to a stop, he turned his head to the most horrific sight he had ever seen. Large hooves and angry antlers were gunning right for him. He shouted out, "Olivia!"

She spun around and froze. She whispered, "No. . ."

It was too late for him. It was coming at him too fast. He shut his eyes, hoping the first few stomps would just kill him, then there was gunfire. He opened his eyes and the moose groaned. Its momentum still continued to push him toward Elliot, just at a much slower pace. Elliot had enough time to roll out of the way, the moose collapsing next him.

Elliot was breathing hard, lying on his stomach and staring at the large animal lying next to him. The moose was breathing with difficulty, its eyes had shut. Soon, it stopped moving altogether.

"Elliot! Elliot!" Olivia was yelling, her voice quivering with fear, tears and relief. She fell to her knees next to him as he sat up. She threw her arms around his neck and asked, "Are you okay?"

He was hugging her back, probably crushing the life out of her as he confirmed, "I'm fine. I'm fine. I'm okay."

She pulled back just enough to see his face. He could see the tears on her face. He could feel the tears on his own. He thought he was going to die. So did she. Both her hands held his face as she began to smile at him, clearly grateful he was still here. She was still panting as she exclaimed, "Holy shit."

"Yeah," he agreed, noticing his labored breaths for the first time. His heart was still pounding inside his chest. He hugged her to him again and shut his eyes tightly. He was okay. They both were okay.

"Hey! Hey, you two!" shouted a familiar voice. It was that kid, David.

Elliot and Olivia untangled themselves from each other, watching the young man approach with the shotgun. He was certainly different from when they first met him. He looked just as scared as the two of them. He slowed his approach and asked, "Are you okay, s-sir?"

"Yeah," Elliot said, rising to his feet. He helped Olivia to stand as well. "I'm fine."

David smiled, "Good. I'm glad you're okay, sir. Really glad."

Olivia glanced down at the dead moose and noticed the gaping wound in its side. She looked at David and stated the obvious. "You shot it."

"Yes I did," David confirmed. His hands were shaking. He was still holding the shotgun tightly. He gulped and said again, "Yes, I shot it. I've never really fired this thing before, you know, on purpose. I. . .I shot it, though."

Elliot smiled gratefully at the kid, but knew he had to get the gun away from him. He cautiously stepped forward and said, "Hey, why don't you give that to me, okay?"

Elliot moved to take it and David didn't stop him. Elliot pried the shotgun away from the young, clammy fingers, then set it on the ground carefully. Olivia looked the kid over and asked, "Are you okay?"

"Yeah," David smiled uneasily. "We carry the gun for stuff like that. And for squatters. I've never had to actually use it before, though."

"Yeah, about the squatter thing," Olivia stepped closer to David, her face apologetic. "We're sorry about hitting you, really. It's just we didn't know how else to convince you...We really are detectives from New York."

David's face lit up as he said, "Oh, we know that now."

Elliot and Olivia performed a double take and said in unison,"You do?"

"Yeah, we got a wire in asking all operators to be on the look out for a man and a woman on any train that recently crossed the border, possibly incapacitated. Armand went looking for you both down that way. He feels awful for trying to kill you."

In stunned silence, Elliot and Olivia glanced at each other. A small smile crept onto Elliot's face. Olivia found herself doing the same. They both laughed nervously, before turning back to David. Elliot inquired, "So, you can help us get home then?"

To this, David paused. His expression one of great regret. "Well, you see, Detective. When we stopped, it wasn't because we heard you bumping around in the back. I just happened to see you open the door."

Olivia's heart sank as she viewed the train before them. They thought their luck had finally turned around.. Thinking this train was their ticket out of here, a safe haven from a raging moose. This train, however, was never going to move. She turned back to David and said, "You're broke down."

"Well, yeah, you could put it that way," David nodded. "Engine gave out. We've been meaning to get it serviced, but time is money. Guess we're paying for it now."

"David! I heard the shot! Rushed back!" Armand called, breathlessly running up to them. On his way, he spotted the dead moose, realizing this was the reason for the gunfire. He reached them, his expression apologetic. "Detectives. Let me apologize. . ."

"No, let me," Elliot stepped forward, hand extended. "Can we start over?"

"Armand Jules," the other man smiled, shaking Elliot's hand. "I'm the engineer for this piece of shit."

"Detective Elliot Stabler," Elliot returned, his smile more bashful. "The idiot who attacked you."

"Misunderstanding, Detective," Armand shrugged it off. "Seeing how we're stuck out here, no sense in trying to kill one another."

"Armand, what do you mean 'stuck'?" Olivia stepped forward.

"I mean, stuck. Look at this heap of metal," Armand said, his tone heavy. He patted the side of one of the cars and sighed, "She's been running for. . .nearly 30 years. David and I are all she's got. As you can see, we only pull about three cars. It's all we need, really. Anyway, things over time just stopped working. The radio is one of them."

"Yeah. We can hear transmissions coming in. Can't send them out," David confirmed.

"So no communication of any kind?" Elliot said, his disbelief evident.

"Well, no," David shook his head. "I do have a cell phone. Unfortunately. . ."

"We're so far out, there's no service," Olivia finished for him, turning around and walking away to go collect her thoughts.

Elliot watched her leave, something in him saying to just let her be. He turned back to Armand and David, giving them a emphatic smile, "So, what do we do?"

Armand searched out the horizon, the sun was gone replaced with a clear, starry night. He simply nodded, saying, "We walk, Detective. We follow the tracks and walk."

To be continued. . .


	4. Rain

Disclaimer: Not mine

Author's Notes: When Author's Write Stupid Things, Part Four. ;) This is the only thing keeping me sane while trying to complete my last semester in college. Thanks for the comments and keep 'em coming. I like constructive crit, even on the silly OOC stories. So yeah. Constructive crit, please. **qt4good**, Yeah, I don't mean to offend anyone from Canada or make myself sound completely uneducated (which I'm sure I have). I figure our countries have more in common than just sports. Anyway, I appreciate you keeping me in line. ;) Keep the comments coming.

**Work**

by e-dog

**4**

**Rain**

It had been decided that staying on the train for the night was the best course of action. David and Armand had food and water, just enough to split with them. Armand also provided them with a blanket to fend off the nightly chill. When morning arrived, they would begin their twenty mile hike along the track. That was how far they were from the next train yard, Armand promised. It was from there they could finally hope to find the means to get home.

For the first time since this horrible plight began, both detectives had high hopes they would finally be on their way back to New York.

Elliot walked over to her, holding the blanket. "How's your arm?"

"Better," she said, rotating her shoulder. "Something about running from that moose made me forget about it actually being in pain."

"The moose, huh?" he grinned, unable to hold back any sarcasm. "I wonder why that was."

Instead of joking back, Olivia lowered her eyes and turned away from him. Okay, what did he say now? He sat down, unfolded the blanket and offered her some cover. She went to grab her share of the blanket, then looked up with shiny eyes and a sad smile, "I almost lost you today."

Elliot frowned slightly, reaching out to caress her shoulder, "I'm still here."

"Still, El. Because of our round-the-clock nagging and lack of focus, we got dumped in Canada and you nearly died," Olivia repeated, this time keeping her sadness and regret to a mere sniffle. "I mean, seriously, Elliot. Why didn't we clear the scene?"

Elliot couldn't keep from chuckling. "Scene, Olivia? We were in the middle of the woods in Connecticut for Pete's sake. That wasn't a 'scene'. There was nothing to clear. We thought we had lost him. Plain and simple."

"If we had just been more aware," she mused. "We wouldn't be here."

Elliot pondered that for a moment, before inquiring, "So what? You're saying we're incompetent police officers now?"

"Am I saying that?" she whispered.

Silence answered her. They both sat side by side, huddled up against the boxes and listening to the wind pick up outside. Incompetent. Never in his entire career did Elliot ever think that his actions would lead to incompetency. That his incompetency would not only endanger his life, but the life of his partner. It also made him wonder, was this the first time his actions were ever considered to be incompetent?

Probably not. Hell, IAB had a very thick file on him for sure.

A soft finger lightly brushed over the cut on his forehead. Olivia was inspecting the wound, probably for no other reason than to keep her mind off of other things. She said quietly, "It's starting to scab."

He nodded, finding nothing to say.

He heard Olivia sigh, "You're not incompetent, El. _We're_ not incompetent."

Elliot grunted, before saying, "Then what are we?"

They glanced at each other, before answering in unison, "Stupid."

She broke into a grin, which prompted him to do so also. He shook his head again, more out of amazement than bewilderment. They wrapped the blanket around each other tighter, leaned back into the boxes to finally get some rest. Before he could close his eyes, though, he needed the answer to one question, "By the way, how did you know so much about that moose in the first place?"

Olivia grinned bashfully, then answered, "Animal Planet."

Elliot laughed. He laughed and this time, his bruised ribs only sent mild shocks of pain through his body.

-----------------------

The terrain was unbelievably rocky and treacherous. One false step could send either of them back down a bouldery hill for another tumble. So careful steps were taken. They remained focused on getting home, but their resolve quickly weakened. At the rate they were walking, it would take them an entire day to reach the next train yard, maybe more. Judging by the ever deepening scowl on Armand's face, he was beginning to realize this too.

The rations of food were split equally. Some cookies David's mother had baked, a couple bottles of water and some cereal bars. Both Elliot and Olivia were hungry, but they resorted to sharing their bottle of water for now. Sipping gingerly, so as not to gulp it all down at once. They would eat tonight, when they would surely have to stop again.

There was something odd, though. David and Armand had insisted on dragging along two duffle bags. They wouldn't really discuss what was inside, but both detectives were certain that the contents within had nothing to do with the charity. It seemed unusual that these two men would carry the luggage when it would surely be easier to fly back out here later once they all reached civilization.

Olivia watched with great curiosity. David was beginning to show signs of fatigue, no doubt from carrying one of the duffle bags. She said discreetly, "What do you think was so important, they couldn't leave those behind?"

"I don't know. I just got a bad feeling about it," Elliot replied. Olivia nodded her agreement. Something wasn't right.

Elliot blinked, turning his head away as a drop of water got him right in the eye. He looked up at the sky just as it burst. Rain was suddenly falling in buckets. He glanced at Olivia and smiled, "Great."

Her hair was already matted down to her skull, as she simply shook her head. How could their luck get any worse? Well, maybe she shouldn't even ask. That would just jinx them.

"You two alright back there?"

It was Armand. He and David had taken the lead, following the tracks and keeping to themselves. Not that Olivia could blame them for wanting to keep their distance. Despite them all exchanging apologies for the confusion back at the train, David was still wary of Elliot and his temper. She also suspected they wanted to hide the contents of their duffle bags.

"We're good!" Elliot replied. He checked to make sure the zipper to his jacket was zipped as high as it would go, then folded his arms tightly. He was cold. So was she.

"Some good wool jackets are in the rain," Olivia said. She couldn't keep her teeth from chattering. She slipped a little in some mud.

Elliot reached out a hand to steady her, before they continued on. "It was either wool jackets or no jackets."

"Oh shit! Look out!" David yelled ahead of them.

Both detectives stopped on a dime, watching the young man leap up into the air, flailing his arms and dropping the bag. Armand was also hopping around too, but not because of whatever spooked David. He was yelling about the dropped duffle bag. "Pick it back up, idiot!"

David paused in his jumping, looked at Olivia and warned, "It's coming your way!"

"What is?" she yelled back. She wasn't too sure why she was yelling. Maybe it was the rain. Maybe it was because Armand and David had decided to walk twenty feet ahead of them. Maybe it was because she could sense the rising surge of danger bubbling up her chest.

"The snake!" David replied, his voice back to squeaking.

"Snake?" Elliot repeated. He looked down and sure enough it was there. At his feet. It was just sitting there. He slowly looked at Olivia, "Animal Planet teach you anything about snakes?"

"Maybe," Olivia said, eyeing the predator closely. "I'm guessing the rain is forcing these little guys out from under the rocks."

"Well, can I step on it or something?" Elliot asked, clearly worried. Their little friend was starting to move around.

"I doubt you'd be fast enough to step on it, El," Olivia chuckled. "Looks like a harmless garter anyway. Step over it and lets move on."

"Okay," Elliot said. Before he could make his move, the snake quickly slithered forward, wrapping around his left ankle. Elliot jumped a little, shook his leg. It wouldn't move. He grimaced. "Get. Off."

"Elliot, don't shake it. Let it unwrap itself," Olivia warned. Elliot wasn't listening.

He continued to hop from one foot to the other, trying to loose the snake. It only seemed to be coiling more around his foot. He muttered aloud, "Damn it."

"She's right, sir. Don't move so much," David said, now approaching them. Olivia noticed that Armand was none to pleased to see David offering his help.

With one determined swift kick, however, Elliot propelled his left foot into the air. Unfortunately, the dirt below him had transformed into mud, thanks to the pounding rain. He kicked so hard, his right foot lost its traction and sent him for a one way trip down to earth. He smacked the ground, landing on his back. The mud beneath him making a wonderful thwacking sound. A shriek was the next sound he heard.

He managed to crank his head around to see Olivia swatting the snake from her shoulder. His eyes widened, realizing he had kicked the snake off of him and onto to her! He scrambled to his feet to help, but only managed to fall again. . .into her. He sent them both down to the ground, landing on top of her. Before he could apologize, she shoved him off and glared at him, "I said _don't_ shake it."

Elliot rolled his eyes, trying to get up again, but only managing to slip and fall face down in the mud again. Through the mud in his ears, he could hear both Olivia and David chuckling at his clumsiness.

"Let me help you," David offered, slinging the duffle bag onto his shoulder and offering out his hand.

When Elliot raised his face from the muddy hell it was in, he was staring into the eyes of the snake. He shouted out of surprise, pushed himself up, stumbled backwards and right back into Olivia's arms.

Only this time, she tried her best to keep them both from falling again. They slid and fumbled. David grabbed onto Elliot, hoping to steady them all. It didn't work.

Olivia managed to slide out of Elliot's grasp, but in doing so, pushed both men away. David and Elliot managed to stay on their feet for a second more, but inevitably fell down. They were completely covered in mud and soaked to the bone. Elliot noticed David's bag had busted open in the process. He apologized immediately, "I'm sorry, man. First I knock you out and now I've ruined your luggage. I'm. . ."

Elliot froze. Lying in the mud were several packs of a white powdery substance. Judging by the petrified look on David's face, this wasn't Kool-Aid he was staring at. It was cocaine. He glanced over his shoulder. Olivia was standing above them, looking down at the packaged drugs too. David and Armand weren't just good natured citizens delivering clothes to the needy. They were drug runners as well.

"Detectives!" shouted Armand.

Elliot and Olivia glanced up. Unfortunately, Armand was carrying more than drugs in his bag. He was also carrying a gun and he was aiming it directly at them. He yelled at David, "Clean that up, now!"

David scrambled, following the order obediently. He managed to throw the detectives an apologetic glance, before stuffing the bags of coke back in his bag. Olivia immediately sympathized for the kid. It was clear David didn't like the business he was in.

"Stand up. Get over there," Armand ordered.

Elliot rose to his feet and joined Olivia near the ever dangerous slope. One false step and they would go over, another trip down a steep hill. That was definitely something both detectives wanted to avoid.

Olivia spoke up first, "You don't have to do this, Armand."

"Yeah, we didn't see anything. We just want to get home," Elliot chimed in, hoping his plea sounded truthful.

"No way. It's bad enough I got pounds upon pounds of coke in these here bags. It's really bad that I'll be late delivering the shipment. What sucks even more is hiring this idiot for a cousin who doesn't have a criminal bone in his body!" Armand ranted, before bringing back the hammer on his gun. "But what makes this all such a barrel of grapes is having two of New York's finest dumped on my train. If it weren't for David, I would've shot you last night."

Elliot stood tall. "So, is that what you're going to do? Shoot us?"

"No. I promised David I wouldn't and if it's all I got left, it's my honor. So, no. I've got a better idea," Armand smiled wickedly. He suddenly lunged forward, a large hand pressed into Olivia's chest and pushed her backwards. Elliot helplessly reached out, trying to grab onto to her but it was too late. She was disappearing down the slope. Without thinking, he hurled himself after her.

They both were sliding down another hill, only this time the hill was muddy and slick. The hard driving rain only compounded their troubles. They were picking up speed and getting messier by the second. Elliot thrashed his arms, looking for anything to grab on to. He needed to slow himself down.

Olivia managed to twist her body around, now sliding feet first. Her eyes widened, seeing their muddy ride was about to come to an abrupt halt.

"Elliot!" Olivia cried out ahead of him.

He saw it, but there was nothing they could do. Their slide sent them over another ridge and into a stream. They splashed into the water, feet first.

They both went under, the water surprisingly deep enough to swim in. They thrashed around in the water for what felt like hours.

-----------------------

The rain had finally stopped.

They were both sitting by the stream, faces sunken, spirits drained. The combination of mud, snakes, and charity-train-operators-turned-drug-runners would surely make for a really great comedy. The simple fact was, though, this wasn't funny. This was a disaster. They were walking disasters.

Elliot wiped at his face again, not that it mattered. His muddy hand merely replaced the mud on his face with more mud. A quick glance at Olivia revealed that she was just as messy. He reached over and pulled a huge clomp of dirt from her hair.

She blandly said, "Thanks."

"You're welcome."

Several more minutes passed, not a word uttered between them.

Finally, Olivia took a deep breath, then sighed, "How did we. . .? I mean, what are the odds of. . .?"

"Falling down the same mountain face twice? Discovering our rescuers were really drug runners?" Elliot finished for her. He scratched the back of his neck, then guessed, "Oh, I'd say pretty damn likely, considering the circumstances."

"David. He's a good kid," Olivia mused. "I wish I had picked up on it sooner."

"Olivia, we didn't know," Elliot said firmly. "You can't save someone if you don't know they need saving."

"And that's just so fucking easy for you to say, isn't it?" Olivia shot back, suddenly angry. "I could've helped him."

"Olivia. No, you couldn't have," Elliot said calmly.

After a few more moments of silence, she replied, "Yeah. I know."

There was more silence and Elliot had to fill it with something. "By the way. Sorry about kicking that snake on you."

Olivia shook her head, thinking back on it. She scolded him with an eerily calm voice, "You know, I told you not to shake the damn snake. You don't listen."

Elliot rolled his eyes. "I'm trying to apologize."

Olivia sighed deeply, "I just wish you would trust me more. I wasn't saying 'don't shake the damn snake' just to hear myself talk, you know."

Elliot shook his head. He repeated sarcastically, "Told you not to shake the damn snake, Elliot. You never listen to me, Elliot. I'm Olivia and I whine, whine, whine and watch Animal Planet all day."

"You know what? Fuck you, Elliot."

"Hey. . .," he said, looking at her with perturbed eyes. "We agreed. . ."

"Fuck our agreement," she muttered.

"Yeah, well fuck you and your fucking. . ." Elliot began, failing to conjure up any kind of reasonable comeback. Ah! He had one! "Your fucking, your ...your Animal Planet watching, must save everyone, Savior Complex ass!" Elliot yelled, as he stood up. He began to head back toward the hill. He was getting the hell out of here even if it _killed_ him.

"Oh, that's just fucking great. Let's act like a fucking child now," Olivia said, her words coming out in a growl. She rose from her spot on the ground to follow him.

"Me? A child? What were you just yelling about?" Elliot shot back. "Wanting to save the world is selfish, Olivia. Selfishness is only a synonym for childishness, in my book."

They reached the bottom of the hill, their eyes gazing up to see the looming task ahead of them. A muddy hill. Another climb. Another attempt at getting home. They both looked at each other. His eyes were still aflame with embarrassment and frustration. Her own eyes mirrored those emotions. They both hardened their expressions quickly, neither one of them ready to apologize or concede to the other their own bashfulness.

"Just start fucking climbing, okay?" Elliot barked, sinking his hands into the dampened earth and forcing himself up.

"After you, Princess," Olivia muttered back.

Elliot managed to push himself upward about a foot before sliding back. He yelled, "Fuck!" He tried again, desperately swinging arms and legs in a motion that sent him uphill. She was doing the same, fighting the mud and losing badly.

After several attempts and only clawing up a few feet each time, they both slid back down. It was just too slick from all the rain water. They plopped back down to the mucky earth again, exhausted. Elliot peeled off his wool jacket, tossed it aside. Olivia wiped her dirty hands against her jeans.

Silence ruled them for several more minutes.

"Elliot?" Olivia called out softly.

"Yeah?" he looked up to face her.

She formed a tight smile, before saying, "We can't go on like this."

"No. No we can't," he agreed.

She played with a tear in her pants and sighed, "I never thought of myself as selfish before, which is silly because I'm probably selfish in more ways than one."

Elliot cringed, knowing he should've never said that. He shook his head. "Olivia..."

"El, it's okay. I wish you would say stuff like that more often, sometimes. Be honest with me," she told him sincerely. "I think I am selfish."

"Let's not talk about this," he nearly begged.

"But that's our problem! We don't talk!" Olivia reasoned, now crawling over to him so they could be side by side. She made him look at her and repeated, "We don't talk. We don't communicate like we used to. What happened to that?"

He didn't answer her. Another sigh escaped her, as she let her words hang in the air.

Change. It was inevitable, yet detestable. Change meant new routines. New relationships. New ways of living. It meant that old friends could easily become bitter enemies. There were many reasons to hate change.

Like now. Sometimes, change even led to scenarios such as this. Lost in a another country with no I.D. and a bitter friendship just barely hanging on for dear life. Change was a bitch.

Elliot thought for a moment more, then turned to face Olivia. She looked at him for a brief moment, hoping he could see the apology written in her eyes. He nodded. "Let's climb this damn hill and get home."

They traveled along the stream some, looking for a better place to begin their climb.

To be continued. . .


	5. Elliot

Disclaimer: Not mine

**Work**

by e-dog

**5**

**Elliot**

He hadn't shaved in three days.

His mud-laden clothes were weighing him down, slowing his steps and burying his resolve. She had shed her wool coat, left some miles behind them. There had been no point in trying to wear it any longer. Not to mention the awful, musky smell emitting from the dampened cloth. Not to say neither of them didn't smell like a barn yard. They both reeked of something foul and unmentionable.

On the bright side, the sun was out again and the temperatures had risen some as a result. It was a beautiful afternoon.

Somehow, they helped each other back up that damn hill. They found the tracks. They started to follow them. They did most of this without exchanging too many words. They didn't need to. It finally occurred to them to that the less they talked, the more productive they became. Novel concept, really. It was what made them such a perfect fit in the first place. They didn't need to talk. They knew how to act and when. It was how they got the job done.

It was only hours ago, Olivia had proclaimed their communication was not the way it once was. The simple fact remained was, instinct was their way of communicating. Anticipation, experience, passion for the job. These things they both had in common. This was how they worked.

Work. The last year, work had been all about finding themselves. Returning back to what they were. Well, there was no going back, that was for certain. What they did find was their rhythm.

"I thought you fell in," Olivia joked, resting on the ground. Elliot was emerging from a private place in a wooded area. It was only now they truly appreciated the wonders of their own private bathroom. Oh to be back in New York!

"You wouldn't believe the line," Elliot said, his grin modest.

She stood as he reached her, folding her arms across her chest, fighting off a chill running down her spine. He motioned they keep moving. She wasn't going to argue. Her stomach, however, wasn't going so quietly.

"Hungry?" he said.

"Aren't you?" she replied, keeping her eyes straight ahead. Watching the train tracks continue on in the distance with no end in sight.

"I'm starved!" Elliot exclaimed.

"I don't know what will kill me first. Starvation or the fact we haven't showered in three days," Olivia smiled, trying to keep their moods light. Trying to maintain hope. Trying anything.

"When we get back, the first thing I'll do is take a bath," Elliot mused aloud.

Olivia nearly stopped in her tracks, her shock evident. "Bath? You take baths?"

Elliot gave her a genuinely confused expression. "Don't you?"

Olivia laughed, her grin broad and playful. "Uh, no. I don't take baths, Elliot. Who has time to enjoy a bath anyways?"

Elliot shrugged. "Sometimes, you make time to enjoy the little things. Like playing baseball with your kid before the sun completely sets, just to get one more pitch in. Stuff like that."

Leave it to Elliot to mention family, Olivia mused. Unbeknownst to him, his remarks on family and kids always sent shocks of envy through her. So with a heavy heart, she replied, "Well, I guess I wouldn't know."

The sun was quickly disappearing behind the horizon line. It took them nearly all day to get back to the tracks. Now it was decision making time. Find a spot to settle for the night or keep moving? So far, neither one had suggested they stop.

They could walk all night, perhaps. Sure. That was easy. It would be like pulling an all-nighter on the job. Chasing perps all day, interrogating all night. Piece of cake.

-----------------------

The punched out holes littering the sky, in addition to the moon, provided their only light.

It was cold, but it wasn't anything they couldn't handle. Still, as time went on, the more they began to miss the warmth of the sun. There were sounds all around them, no doubt belonging to the creatures of the night. Occasionally, a rustling noise would startle them both. Each time, they pretended not to notice each other's jitteriness. There was no arguing, though, that the last thing they wanted was another moose encounter. So their ears and eyes were always on alert.

"You don't own a tv," Elliot commented.

"No, I have one. It's broken," she corrected.

"Still, you don't have one," he pushed.

Olivia finally looked up at the random statement and shrugged. "Your point?"

"How are you watching Animal Planet if you don't even have basic cable?" Elliot asked, truly curious.

She chuckled, shaking her head. "I watch Animal Planet, okay? Sue me. Sometimes they have those cute dog shows on and stuff."

"Did you just say 'cute'?" Elliot laughed heartily, earning himself a loud thwack against his shoulder. Getting his laughter under control, he pushed, "Seriously. Where are you watching Animal Planet?"

Olivia rolled her eyes. "Casey's. Sometimes we watch tv. People watch tv."

"Casey?" Elliot repeated. He wasn't even aware the two women socialized outside of work.

He let that thought simmer for a moment, before his entire being fell into a complete stupor. Wait a minute. Olivia and Casey? As in, _Olivia and Casey??? _Noooo. No way. He continued to walk alongside his partner, occasionally giving her a funny look, then turning away each time she glanced his way.

No. No way. Friends watch tv.

_So do lovers, _he thought to himself. He shut his eyes tight for a moment, scolding his overactive imagination. How did his thoughts wander so far off anyway? Casey and Olivia were friends. Nothing more.

Right?

He shot another glance at Olivia again, realizing for the first time in months that he truly knew very little about his partner and what had been going on in her life. They hadn't talked much since her return to SVU.

"Elliot? You okay?" she asked. He had grown unusually quiet. She could feel his questioning eyes burning her skin from time to time. Something was bothering him and evidently, it had something to do with her.

"Fine. I'm fine," Elliot said quickly. Then he stopped walking, prompting her to do the same. He looked at her, "You watch tv at Casey's?"

Olivia let a nervous smile form on her lips. "Yeah. So? Like I said, people watch tv. What's the big deal?"

"Well, you and Casey," Elliot said.

Olivia still didn't understand. "Me and Casey, what?"

"You," Elliot said, pointing at her. "And Casey. You and Casey. . .uh, you and Casey?"

"Say, 'you and Casey' one more time and I might have to kill you," Olivia warned, starting to walk off. Elliot grabbed her arm, keeping her from getting away. Now she was annoyed. "What the hell, Elliot? Me and Casey, what??"

Finally, the word he had been searching for came to him and he blurted it out. "Together?"

Olivia mouthed the word 'together' slowly, letting the wheels turn in her head to process this last exchange. She saw Elliot's bemused eyes, reiterated the word 'together', then added in the 'you and Casey'. Mix and stir. Ding, ding, ding! Her eyes lit up as she shook her head and said incredulously, "You think Casey and I are_ together???_"

"Uh, well, " Elliot stammered. "Did I say that? I don't think I said that."

"No, you said that," Olivia told him.

"No, _you_ said that. Not me." Elliot was wincing now. _Stupid, stupid, stupid. . ._

"Elliot, how the hell did you get 'Casey and I are a couple' from 'we watch tv together'?" she asked, her voice growing louder with every word. She was trying to keep her laughter at bay, her emotions flying from confused to amused back to confused all too quickly. However, the reddening of Elliot's cheeks and ears were all too much and she choked on her laughter. She began walking away again. "Thanks, El. After all the shit we've been through, I needed that."

Elliot stood there dumbstruck for a moment before the signal to walk finally reached his legs. He jogged to catch up to her, smiling bashfully. "I don't know...It's just the first thing I thought. I don't know why."

"You don't know why? Elliot, you're a guy. You were all hardwired to drool at the thought of two women making out," Olivia joked.

"Good point," Elliot conceded. "Still, I'm sorry."

"It's okay, I'm not offended," Olivia insisted. "I mean, if Casey had feelings for me in that way, I'd be flattered."

Elliot furrowed his brow, not really liking the ambiguity of that statement. He was also beginning to realize he didn't like how Olivia boiled down his assumption of her relationship with Casey as 'just being a guy'. That the idea of two women making was just 'hot' and nothing more. There was more to it than that.

Suddenly, Olivia grabbed his arm and nearly whispered, "Elliot. . ."

Elliot shook his head, not really paying attention. Hell, with all the blurry lines between straight and gay nowadays, every gesture and action and touch was put into question. He felt justified in his assumption, even though it was wrong.

"Elliot!" she called him again, snapping him out of his musings.

"What?" He looked up finally. She was pointing out ahead of them, so he followed her line of sight and saw the most glorious vision he had seen in days. He grinned widely. "Olivia. It's the train yard."

"I know," Olivia said, smiling back. "Can we get the hell out of Canada now, or do you still want to contemplate my sexuality?"

Much to her delight, Olivia watched Elliot's ears turn a bright red again.

-----------------------

The train yard was a ghost town. A few smallish buildings, one presumably the office. It was equipped with a broken transistor radio, worn down furniture and dust mites. The condition of the yard was typical of what this entire trip had been like: shitty. It was downright shitty.

Olivia kicked at an empty pail, listening to it clang as it bounded away. She put her hands on her hips, "El. I have a feeling this isn't an active train yard."

"Yeah, no kidding," Elliot sighed, treading carefully over the dusty wood flooring. He reached a door, pushed it open and took in the view. More mountains. More trees. More dirt. Oh, now wait a minute. He stepped out, knelt down then hovered a hand over the dirt. "Olivia. Check this out."

She walked over and knelt down beside him. She shook her head, "Tire tracks. An ATV, most likely."

"Armand was delivering his shipment here. To an abandoned train yard out in the middle of bumblefuck," Elliot assessed. "They must've all driven off in the ATV."

"Kinda makes you wonder what Armand would've done with us once we got here," Olivia thought aloud.

Well, not really. Both detectives had a very good idea of what would've happened. The buyer would've gotten nervous about them being cops, then would've pulled a gun and had a shooting spree. If it weren't for that stupid snake and the miserable events that ensued, they could've very well been shot at this train yard and left to die.

After spending a good while combing the yard, it was safe to say the place was empty. They went back to the office in hopes of finding something useful. Olivia opened a desk drawer and smiled. She pulled out several rolled up pieces of aging paper and said, "Jackpot."

"What'd you find?" Elliot said walking up to her.

"Maps. Maps of all the lines in this area," Olivia smiled. "Care to take a guess as to where we are?"

Elliot took a moment to look. There were several confusing lines all over the aging piece of paper, but only one line that was a straightaway for what seemed like 50 miles or more. He pointed at the only small building along that stretch and grinned, "We are here."

"That's what I was thinking too," Olivia nodded. She traced her finger in a direction, assessing, "If we keep walking in the direction we started in, it's another 30 miles to the next yard. That'll take us another day, if not more to reach."

Elliot frowned. He didn't have to say what he was thinking. She knew it too. They had no food. No water. The last bit of anything they had to eat was nearly two days ago, their last sip of water yesterday. Maybe they could go another day without food, but water. They would have to double-time their efforts to reach help. They couldn't afford any more delays.

Oh, there was the matter of sleep too. They walked all through the night to get here, the sun was just beginning to peak over the horizon.

"This is our only shelter for a little while," Olivia reasoned. "I'd be more comfortable sleeping here, then out there."

"I'm not tired," Elliot said, suppressing a yawn. "What's another day?"

Olivia sighed. "Elliot. C'mon. I'm tired."

"Liv, it's one more day!" he reasoned. "We'll waste a good six to eight hours sleeping here. We. . ."

Elliot paused, his eyes widening in fear.

Olivia hadn't noticed her partner's abrupt silence, shaking her head and rubbing her eyes. Why did he have to be so difficult. She heard a grunt. A frustrated grunt. She looked up at him and nearly yelled, "I'm fucking tired, Elliot. Don't you dare grunt at me over some stupid. . .stupid."

Elliot's eyes were open wide. His skin a ghostly white. She heard the grunt again and realized it wasn't her partner doing the grunting. She felt she was the verge of tears as she shrugged. "No, no, no. We were doing so well. . ."

"Bear," Elliot muttered.

She winced. "Bear?"

"Bear," he repeated. "Right behind you."

She shut her eyes, remaining as still as possible. Again she said, "No. This isn't happening."

"It's happening and it looks mad," Elliot told her, his voice urgent. He could see her shutting down. It occurred to him that she wasn't kidding. She was tired. So tired, that she wasn't reacting rationally. They should've hightailed it out of here, like, yesterday.

"Hey, Animal Planet. Snap out of it. We gotta move."

"Brown or black?" she asked. She seemed to be wobbling on her feet now.

He glanced at the enormous animal and answered, "Brown."

"Did you leave the back door open?" she asked.

"Liv, what's with the 20 questions?" Elliot groaned. "I'm sorry, okay? I left it open, now let's go. _Please._"

"I can't believe this. First the shot gun, then the hill and the moose. . .." She was mumbling. She rubbed her forehead and complained, "God, it's hot in here!"

It was no use. Olivia had lost her marbles. So Elliot did the only thing he could think of. He lunged forward, scooped up the bewildered woman into his arms and nearly snapped his spine when he turned on his heel to run away. "Ahh, shit!"

After much wobbling, he went running for the first exit he could find.

"Deep breaths," he told himself, the actual weight in his arms much heavier than he imagined. Olivia was by no means overweight, but he couldn't help but curse all those glossy action flicks he had seen over the years. People like Stallone and Seagal made lifting a damsel in distress into the air look so damn easy!

He wasn't sure how long he ran, or should he say clomped and stumbled and dragged, alongside the tracks. It was only until the train yard was out of sight did he realize the bear had never chased them. So he stopped and sunk to the ground. His knees wailed in pain as the combined weight of he and Olivia came crashing down on them. He practically dropped Olivia down in the grass.

It was now he saw that her eyes were shut.

"Olivia?" he called out. He lightly tapped her cheek, hoping for her to respond. Nothing. He checked her pulse and it was strong. She was unconscious and the heat radiating from her skin was like fire. He whispered, "Fever."

He looked around. From what he remembered of the map, they had quite a ways to go before they reached civilization. He put a hand against her forehead again, thinking maybe he could gage how serious her fever was. It was moments like these he longed for what he used to have. Kathy would always tend to the kids when they were sick. She always knew what to do. He felt helpless.

"El?"

Her voice was weak. He leaned down to hear and smiled. "Hey, you. You fainted."

"I did?" she replied, now forcing herself up into a sitting position. He gave her some room as she rubbed her hand over her eyes again.

"You have a fever," he told her. "Maybe when we landed in the stream, the cold water got to you."

She didn't reply. She just shut her eyes for a moment, her breathing evening out. She felt a tug on her arm. Opening her eyes, she could see a very concerned Elliot watching her. She smiled weakly. "I'm fine, Elliot."

"Trust me, you're not," he told her gently. He helped her to her feet. "Like you said, we have a day's walk ahead of us. Let's not waste anymore time, okay?"

They started walking, with little argument from her. She really did feel like shit. After several long minutes, a thought came to Elliot. He turned to her, "Why did you ask me what color the bear was?"

It took her a moment to recollect what happened back at the yard, but when the memory came back, she smiled. "Brown. They are only really aggressive when their young are in danger. I wanted to tell you that we wouldn't have to run. Just leave slowly, cautiously."

Elliot stopped. "Are you fucking kidding me? I picked you up, nearly broke my back and ran for nothing?"

"You picked me up?" she repeated, her voice small and intrigued.

"Never mind," he said quickly and began walking again.

Olivia rubbed her arms, fighting off another chill. However, not even her fever could keep her spirits down now. As they walked, she was smiling to herself, thinking, _who needs a knight in shining armor when you've got Elliot Stabler? _

To be continued. . .


	6. Payback

Disclaimer: Not mine

Author's Note: I really appreciate all the responses I got for this. At a most stressful time in my life (college graduation and an art show! Yikes!), I needed a silly outlet just to get away from it all. This was it. Thanks to those who stuck by the story and took it for what it was. Thanks to those who doubted it and probably never gave it a second glance. Finally, thanks to the ones who weren't sure, but decided to read anyway. The comments and reviews were great and helped a lot. Cheers.

**Work**

by e-dog

**6**

**Payback**

She was beginning to see Elliot in a whole different light.

Sure he was pretentious at times. Rude. Impatient. Explosive. Still, none of those descriptors could cancel out the good that was Elliot Stabler. He was a good man and a good cop. A good detective. None of their arguments or disagreements could ever snuff that out.

She could see him hobbling ahead of her and this nearly made her laugh again. No, it wasn't funny at all, but the thought of Elliot scooping her up into his arms, twisting his spine and running like some wannabe Wesley Snipes was a picture she just couldn't shake. It was too bad she had fainted during the whole ordeal.

Speaking of fainting, her head was spinning like crazy. There was no denying it any more. She had a fever. The setting sun was doing nothing to ease her fraught mind either. Without the warmth, she would surely lose all will to keep walking. She heard Elliot mutter something, bringing her back from her musings.

"Elliot?"

He grunted in reply. Too tired to ask again, she let him be. He would talk when he wanted to.

-----------------------

They continued walking. Surely they were getting closer to civilization. They had to be.

"Oh God, no," Elliot said aloud.

"What's wrong?" Olivia said, looking up from the ground. She stood next to her partner and felt a sudden urge to throw up. She shook her head, "No, no, no. . ."

"This is a mirage," Elliot reasoned.

Olivia sighed, "We're not in the middle of the desert, El. This is Canada."

"This is shit. Complete horseshit," he griped.

"You can say that again," she agreed.

"Horseshit," Elliot muttered again.

Before them was a split in the tracks. A fork in the road that the maps back at the train yard didn't indicate. It became painfully clear that those navigational papers had long since been expired; the owners of this fine railroad line feeling no need to update their train yards with accurate maps.

Elliot sank to his knees, his resolve completely drained of all sustenance. He was soon joined by Olivia, who only seemed to be looking worse with each passing minute. They needed to find help. She needed medical attention. At the very least some drinkable water.

Olivia set her eyes on the horizon. It was so far away and she was so damn tired. She smacked her dry lips and studied the tracks the again. Whether the tracks veered left or right, they seemed to be endless. There was only one choice to make here.

"Left or right."

"What?" he said, turning his head to face her.

She repeated with a loud sigh, "Left or right? Should we go left or right?"

Not wanting to argue, he shrugged, "What do you think?"

"Right," she said almost immediately. Confidently. Maybe with a hint of desperation.

He thought on her decision for a moment, then stood to his feet. "Okay. Let's go."

Olivia glanced up at him, confused. "Okay? That's it? Just okay?"

"Yup. Just okay," he nodded, holding out his hand for her to grab. He pulled her to her feet and began to walk, but she yanked him back. He shrugged again. "What's up, Olivia?"

"You're not gonna fight me? You don't want to go left, just for argument's sake?" she pushed.

"Left. Right. What does it matter?" Elliot said, his voice bitter and caustic. He kicked at the dirt and went on, "We've been following these tracks for days. We've been chased by a moose, pushed down a muddy slope by drug runners, scared senseless by a bear and . . . and. . ."

"Pushed to our wits end?" she suggested.

"Exactly!" Elliot roared with agreement. He looked up at the sky with his arms spread wide and he shouted, "What the hell do we have to do to earn a little luck on this fucking trip?!?"

Elliot was answered with loud, rolling thunder and droplets of rain. Olivia felt a little drop of rain hit her head as well, however, it seemed the heavens were trying desperately to keep the flood back. For the life of her, she couldn't understand why. The skies should just open up right now, drown them both.

Elliot let his arms fall, a resentful laugh bubbling within him. He then locked eyes with her and said, "What do we have to do?"

Tiredly, Olivia stood alongside her partner and smiled, "Nothing."

Elliot frowned. "Nothing?"

"Nothing," she said again, allowing herself to sink to the ground to rest. He sat down next to her, sitting with his legs crossed and his arms hugging his body tightly. She mimicked his posture and shut her eyes for a moment. She repeated, "Nothing."

"Are you saying give up? Sit here and starve to death?" Elliot mused darkly. It had been so long since he took a rest. His tired limbs were finally beginning to feel the strains of sleep deprivation. The exhaustion was hitting him like a ton of bricks.

"I'm saying we did nothing to deserve this, therefore we have no obligation to do anything to set our universe right again," Olivia explained. "This has been one bad accident after another, but you know what? We're still alive, Elliot. We're still here."

"Yeah, we are," he agreed. His eyes began to close. All he wanted to do was sleep. "We're. . ."

A piercing horn sounded off in the distance. They turned they're heads toward the racket and spied a light down the way. A bright, circular light. It looked like a large headlight. The kind of headlight found on the nose of a train.

They both just sat there, frozen. They sat there not wanting to believe that they're luck had finally turned around. Nevertheless, the light grew stronger and the horn sounded louder. It was a train. Good Lord Almighty, it was a train!

Elliot rose to his feet and began to wave his arms in the air. Olivia joined him and began to call out, "Stop!"

Elliot did the same. He began to shout like his life depended on it. Well, his life _did_ depend on it. He shouted because both his life and Olivia's depended on being heard. He still couldn't help but wonder if the engineer would even hear their voices over the noise of the engine. He doubted it. They could only pray that they would be seen. Please, let someone see them.

A wave of lightheadedness hit him. He was on the brink of passing out. He stumbled forward, waving his arms wildly. Please, let someone see them. Let them be seen before he collapsed. Let them be seen before Olivia was overcome by her fever.

"Stop!" he shouted again. "Stop!"

Please. Let someone see them.

-----------------------

_Two weeks later. . ._

To think they were laughing about their ordeal, chatting it up with Casey after a particularly grueling case. It seemed like the best thing to do, really. Both detectives had barely said a word to anyone about their plight in Canada. Now, all they could do was talk about it. All they could do was laugh.

Casey listened, not only with her ears but with her eyes. She could hear the nervousness, see the reddened cheeks. Elliot and Olivia were embarrassed. As if anything they could've done would've prevented what happened. Still, that was the one emotion she was reading loud and clear: embarrassment.

Embarrassment at allowing themselves to end up in such a bizarre situation in the first place. Laughter at all the asinine events that followed. Casey couldn't keep from chuckling herself, listening to their horrific tale. It was quite possibly the most improbable story she had ever heard.

Needless to say, nothing that had happened to them was funny. They had woken up on a train, lost and confused. No identification. No sense of time. Toss in a couple of bewildered train operators/drug runners and both Elliot and Olivia could've easily been shot or killed. Oh, who could forget the perils of nature? Certainly not these two. Casey had heard the story of the rampaging moose. It was not pretty.

"Next thing I know, Elliot is barging into me and we're flying down this hill, head over heels," Olivia recalled, her laughter interrupting her nearly every other word.

"There was no end in sight, Casey. It was unreal," Elliot added. "I felt like we had been falling forever."

"The climb back up was the worst part," Olivia sighed heavily.

"Really? I would've thought the moose would've been the most terrifying?" Casey said, intrigued.

"That was nothing," Olivia shrugged. Her eyes told Casey otherwise.

They went on about David and Armand. Their second trip down the hill and the messy attempt to climb back up. Casey heard it all. This would be the third time Elliot and Olivia had regaled her with their tale. The more they talked about it, the more easygoing they became.

The banter continued and it was almost like Casey wasn't even in the room. Usually, she felt like the odd one out, the outsider. Not this time. This time, she was just happy they were both here, alive and well. She was happy they were getting along.

Then again, near death experiences tend to change a person's perspective on things.

Olivia's cell phone went off and she checked the text message. She looked up at Elliot, her voice determined and strong, "Adam Hunt. Munch and Fin got a hit on his location."

Elliot immediately stood up, "Sorry, Case."

"No, go. I understand," Casey waved at them. "You can finish your story after you catch Adam."

-----------------------

"Olivia!"

"I see him, El!" she shouted back, leaping over the park bench and flipping on the afterburners. Gone were the endless rows of trees and muck. Gone was the awful terrain she experienced up North. All she had was grass, pavement and concrete to navigate. This was Manhattan. This was taxi cabs, people and wandering pets. This was her turf and damn it, she was not going to let Adam Hunt get away from her this time. No, not this time.

Not to mention that little prick had the nerve to be wearing her leather jacket! The very same leather jacket she thought had been gone for good.

The park was surprisingly devoid of people, so she was only dodging fountains, benches and street lamps. Her leather jacket was just within her grasp. Then misfortune struck again. Adam blazed across a busy street, just before the lights changed. Traffic began to move, blocking her path.

Adam was getting away. Again.

"Fuck, no," she panted, racing along the sidewalk, looking for an opening. Then out of the corner of her eye, she saw Elliot. For a millisecond, he looked like Superman, shirt torn and stance tall and strong. The next millisecond, he was gone. He leaped off the brick wall on which he was standing, flew through the air and tackled the unsuspecting Adam to the ground. He timed it perfectly.

She wasn't sure where Elliot had come from or how he managed to crosse the street, but a millisecond later she realized how little she cared. Once she could, she raced across the street, just as Elliot had cuffed Adam and pulled the bastard to his feet. Elliot also handed Olivia her jacket. She tugged it on with a cocky defiance. Now she was back. It felt good to be back.

"Hi, Adam, remember us?" Elliot grinned wickedly, returning his attention to the perp in his grasp.

Adam was seething, glaring at them both. Olivia turned to Elliot and shrugged, "I don't think he remembers us, Elliot. We should refresh his memory."

"Hm, there was that oak branch you hit us with. Remember that?" Elliot growled, shaking Adam.

"Can't forget the train. He dumped us on that God forsaken train," Olivia added. She then locked eyes with their perp and growled, "Stole my jacket."

Finally, Fin and Munch pulled up in their sedan, lights flashing. They both hopped out, clearly overjoyed to see Adam in handcuffs. Munch walked over, watching Elliot and Olivia do everything in their power to keep from mauling Adam Hunt alive. Fin checked the sidewalks for witnesses, then motioned toward the alleyway. "I won't tell, if you don't."

Elliot and Olivia immediately looked to Munch for approval. After a few long seconds, Munch shrugged, "Go, but I'm not going to witness any of this debauchery. I'll be in the car."

"What the hell are you talking about?" Adam asked, looking between the four detectives with great worry. "Hey! What's he talking about?"

Elliot pulled Adam close to his face and sneered, "It's payback time you little bastard."

Olivia tore at Adam's shirt, then stuffed the piece of fabric in his mouth to keep him from screaming.

Fin and Munch watched Olivia and Elliot drag Adam into the alleyway, kicking and crying through his muffled mouth. They both turned their backs on the scene, waited patiently, then heard the most nauseating, bone-crunching hit that they had ever heard.

Fin's only response to that was, "Damn."

"Yeah," Munch agreed. "This job's a bitch."

The End


End file.
